Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There r osticjed everywhere
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
