He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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