I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
