Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
