Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
