Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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