I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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