I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
false alarm, still single
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize