There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
