no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
