Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
