We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
