I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
