he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
