we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My penis needs a shock collar
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize