I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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