He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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