The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
