I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
