I think im going to throw up on grandma
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
