Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
