hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
