Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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