He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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