How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
