Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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