And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
