sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
ugly people sure do ruin things
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
