There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
