Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Come see our sink grown plant.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
