life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
