What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize