I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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