Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
