So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
