I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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