you would pick up someone in the library
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
