Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
