I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
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