He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
