please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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