party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
