Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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