How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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