belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
