we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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