Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
