I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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