Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
