our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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