Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
