dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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