Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
