does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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