Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
