did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
