We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yo dont text me then not text me
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
