wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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