Jerry, you need to find god
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
