i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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