Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
